![]() Some mornings don’t come easy. The world feels quiet but heavy, and even the simplest routines feel like uphill work. And yet, somewhere in that resistance between brushing your teeth and noticing the light through the blinds, there’s an invitation. It whispers, What if this, too, is part of the journey? In therapy and in life, it can be easy to think we’re moving toward a single destination—peace, happiness, or clarity—as if once we arrive, the struggle will fall away. But healing is not a straight line. It's not a formula. It’s a relationship with yourself that deepens over time, especially when you show up on the days you’d rather stay hidden. This process, often called psychological flexibility, is at the heart of lasting mental health. It refers to our ability to stay present and open to our internal experiences, even the uncomfortable ones, while still taking action aligned with our values (Kashdan & Rottenberg, 2010, p. 866). That means allowing sadness to exist without immediately needing to fix it. It means noticing anxiety without letting it run the show. It means trusting that even confusion or fear might be part of something unfolding in you—something wise, something real. The challenge is that our culture often treats happiness as the end goal, something to chase, hold, and preserve. But happiness, like all emotions, is fleeting. And that is exactly what makes it beautiful. Its impermanence reminds us that life moves. Emotions shift. Meaning is made not by capturing perfection, but by learning how to be in each moment fully. In Japanese philosophy, there’s a concept called Wabi-Sabi, the appreciation of what is imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete. It reminds us that beauty doesn’t live in flawless moments but in the cracked ones we choose to keep living through. Healing, too, is not about erasing the past but honoring the golden seams we form when we grow through it. Much like the art of kintsugi, where broken pottery is repaired with gold, our own emotional fractures can become a source of deeper strength and meaning—not something to hide, but something to revere. As Viktor Frankl once noted, “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves” (Frankl, 1985, p. 112). But change does not mean becoming someone else. It means returning to the self you may have had to hide. It means honoring your own pace. Healing is less about becoming new and more about becoming honest. This honesty, this willingness to be with what is, doesn’t mean we let pain run wild. It means we befriend it so it no longer has to roar to be heard. In fact, research on self- Compassion shows that those who learn to meet their struggles with kindness, not criticism, experience less anxiety and depression and greater emotional resilience (Neff, 2003, p. 226). So if this morning felt hard, or messy, or just quiet in a way that made you ache a little good. That’s not failure. That’s aliveness. That’s a nervous system trying to relearn safety. That’s a heart making room for something unfamiliar. That’s growth you may not see yet. Healing, after all, is not always a feeling. Sometimes it’s a decision: to show up again, to keep walking, to stay gentle. Because happiness isn’t the goal. Being here, now, is. by Dr. Elvin Peace References Frankl, V. E. (1985). *Man’s search for meaning* (Rev. ed.). Washington Square Press. https://archive.org/details/manssearchformea00fran_0 Kashdan, T. B., & Rottenberg, J. (2010). Psychological flexibility as a fundamental aspect of health. *Clinical Psychology Review, 30*(7), 865–878. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2010.03.001 Neff, K. D. (2003). The development and validation of a scale to measure self- compassion. *Self and Identity, 2*(3), 223–250. https://self-compassion.org/wp- content/uploads/2015/06/Neff2003.pdf #embracethejourney #lifeisbeautiful #mindfulness #personalgrowth #transience #acceptance #livinginthemoment
0 Comments
![]() Finding the right therapist can be a deeply personal and vulnerable journey, and it’s one that plays a crucial role in the success of your mental health and overall well-being. Whether you're navigating anxiety, depression, trauma, or simply looking for guidance through life’s challenges, the therapist you choose can significantly impact the progress you make. In this post, we’ll help guide you through the process of selecting the right therapist, so you can feel confident in your decision and begin the path toward healing and self-discovery. Understand Your Needs and PreferencesThe first step in choosing the right therapist is to have a clear understanding of what you're looking for. Ask yourself: What are the challenges you’re hoping to address? What would you like to accomplish or overcome? Are you seeking therapy for something specific like relationship issues, childhood trauma, or work-related stress? Some individuals need help managing day-to-day emotions, while others may require more specialized support for mental health conditions such as OCD or PTSD. Knowing your needs will help you narrow down the options, so you're not overwhelmed by the many types of therapy available. Another important factor to consider is your preferences around the therapist's approach and style. Do you feel more comfortable with someone who offers a structured, solution-focused approach, or would you prefer a therapist who uses a more conversational, empathetic method? Take note of the things that matter most to you—whether it's gender, age, cultural background, or language—and factor them into your decision. Consider the Therapist’s Credentials and SpecializationsTherapists come with a variety of qualifications, and it’s important to ensure they have the right credentials to meet your needs. In most cases, a licensed therapist will have a degree in psychology, social work, or counseling, and may hold certifications in specific therapeutic techniques. These can include Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), depending on what you're looking to focus on in therapy. Additionally, therapists often specialize in certain areas. For example, some may be more experienced in helping with anxiety and depression, while others may specialize in family therapy, addiction recovery, or trauma. Make sure to check their areas of expertise to ensure they align with your goals. Evaluate the Therapist’s Approach to TherapyEvery therapist has their own unique approach to therapy, and it's crucial that it resonates with you. Some therapists are more directive and structured, while others take a more collaborative or client-centered approach. This can influence the dynamics of your sessions and your comfort level with the process. It can be helpful to inquire about their therapeutic style during your first consultation or introductory session. Do they take a more active role in guiding the conversation, or are they focused on listening and asking open-ended questions? Are they focused on providing specific tools and techniques, or do they prefer a more reflective, explorative approach? The answer to these questions can give you a sense of whether the therapist’s approach aligns with your needs and preferences. Trust Your Gut and Assess the FitTherapy is most effective when you feel safe, heard, and understood. That means the relationship you build with your therapist is key. During your first few sessions, pay attention to how you feel. Do you feel comfortable opening up to them? Do they listen attentively and without judgment? Are you able to establish a sense of trust and rapport? It’s natural to feel a little nervous in the beginning, but the right therapist will create a welcoming and supportive environment that helps ease any discomfort. If something feels off, or if you're not connecting with your therapist, it’s okay to seek someone else. Feeling understood and supported is essential to making meaningful progress. Consider Availability and CostPractical considerations like availability, location, and cost are also important to keep in mind. Can the therapist accommodate your schedule, or do their office hours work well with yours? Are they conveniently located, or do they offer virtual sessions if you prefer that option? When it comes to cost, therapy can be an investment, and it's important to find a therapist whose fees fit within your budget. Many therapists offer sliding scale fees based on income or accept insurance, so be sure to inquire about payment options upfront. Commit to the ProcessOnce you’ve found a therapist that feels like a good fit, it’s time to commit to the process. Therapy is a journey, and while it can bring up challenging emotions, it’s an important step toward personal growth. Be open to the process and remember that building a strong therapeutic relationship takes time. As you work together, trust will grow, and you’ll have the opportunity to make meaningful changes in your life. You’re Ready to BeginChoosing the right therapist for your needs is a personal decision that requires thoughtful consideration. By understanding your goals, evaluating credentials and approaches, and trusting your intuition, you can find a therapist who will guide you on your path to healing and self-discovery. If you’re ready to start the journey, don’t hesitate to reach out to a trusted therapist at our practice. We’re here to support you every step of the way! Brooklyn Davis, LCMHCA, LCAS #FindingTheRightTherapist #MentalWellness #TherapyJourney #TherapyTips #SelfCareMatters #HealingJourney #mentalhealth #therapy #therapistsearch #selfcare #healingjourney ![]() Mornings often bring with them a unique clarity, a time when the mind is still and the day’s possibilities stretch out before us. In these early hours, I’ve come to recognize that happiness is not a final destination but a series of transient, beautiful moments that we experience along our journey. This perspective allows us to appreciate the ebb and flow of life, accepting that even fleeting joy has value. There is a certain beauty in knowing that happiness is temporary. Research in positive psychology indicates that our emotional responses are inherently dynamic; we are wired to experience a range of emotions as we navigate daily life (Fredrickson, 2001). This understanding is both liberating and empowering. It frees us from the relentless pursuit of a constant state of bliss and invites us instead to embrace each moment as it is, whether it feels uplifting or challenging. Mindfulness is a key practice that helps appreciate these moments. By focusing on the present and acknowledging our thoughts and sensations without judgment, we can cultivate a deeper sense of awareness and gratitude. Studies have shown that mindfulness-based practices can significantly reduce stress and improve overall well-being (Kabat-Zinn, 2003). This mindful approach encourages us to slow down, breathe deeply, and connect with the world around us, allowing the natural rhythm of our day to unfold without forcing it into a predetermined mold. This morning, as I sat with a cup of coffee and watched the sunrise, I reflected on the impermanence of joy. The colors of the sky changed gradually, and each shift was a reminder that nothing remains static. This gentle transition is a metaphor for our own lives. The highs and lows we experience are part of a broader tapestry that, when viewed as a whole, creates a life rich with meaning. Embracing this fluidity means accepting that every emotion, whether positive or negative, contributes to our growth and understanding. Empirical studies support the notion that our pursuit of sustained happiness may sometimes lead us to overlook the value inherent in moment-to-moment experiences. Hedonic adaptation, the tendency to return to a baseline level of happiness after a positive or negative event, underscores the importance of embracing the journey rather than fixating on outcomes (Brickman & Campbell, 1971). By appreciating transient experiences, we allow ourselves to fully engage with life as it happens rather than waiting for a permanent state of contentment that may never arrive. This perspective also has practical benefits. It reminds us that life’s challenges and joys are interconnected. Accepting that happiness is temporary can alleviate the pressure to maintain a constant state of positivity. Instead, we can focus on the present, recognizing that each moment is a building block in the ongoing narrative of our lives. This shift in mindset can lead to more sustainable well-being and a greater appreciation for the ordinary, everyday moments that often pass unnoticed. In essence, this morning has reinforced a timeless lesson: our journey is made up of a series of impermanent yet meaningful moments. By embracing this journey, we open ourselves up to the beauty of the present, finding fulfillment not in the attainment of a perfect state of happiness but in the ongoing process of living fully and mindfully. By Elvin Peace, PhD, LCMHC, LCAS References: Brickman, P., & Campbell, D. T. (1971). Hedonic relativism and planning the good society. In M. H. Appley (Ed.), Adaptation-level theory: A symposium (pp. 287–302). Academic Press. Fredrickson, B. L. (2001). The role of positive emotions in positive psychology: The broaden-and-build theory of positive emotions. American Psychologist, 56(3), 218–226. Kabat-Zinn, J. (2003). Mindfulness-based interventions in context: Past, present, and future. Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice, 10(2), 144–156. #EmbracingTheJourney #FleetingMoments #Mindfulness #Gratitude #Presence #LettingGo #InnerPeace #Happiness #SelfGrowth #LifeLessons #Wellbeing #Acceptance #EmotionalBalance #PositiveLiving #JourneyOfLife ![]() Your Guide to Mindfulness Life's a whirlwind, right? Constantly bombarded with stuff – information, deadlines, notifications... Our brains are like hamsters on a wheel, spinning from one thought to the next, leaving us stressed and disconnected from what's happening right now. That's where mindfulness comes in. It's like a reset button for your mind, helping you reclaim your focus, find some inner chill, and just feel better overall. Mindfulness is basically about being present. Like, really present. You focus on what's happening right now, acknowledging your feelings, thoughts, and what your body's telling you without judging any of it. It's not about having a blank mind – that's impossible! It's about noticing your thoughts and feelings without getting swept away by them. There are many benefits to practicing mindfulness. Regular mindfulness practice can lower your stress levels. Focusing on the present moment helps quiet that inner critic and worry-wart in your head. Mindfulness can sharpen your focus. It trains your brain to ignore distractions and stay on task, which is great for concentration. Practicing mindfulness can also boost your self-awareness. Paying attention to your thoughts, feelings, and body gives you a better understanding of yourself. Mindfulness can help you manage your emotions: You learn to observe your emotions without judgment, so you can respond better instead of just reacting. The act of being mindful can also improve your relationships. Being present in your interactions makes communication easier and strengthens your connections with people. Mindfulness can help you feel happier by bringing out feelings of gratitude, joy, and general contentment. Mindfulness is easy-peasy to practice in your everyday life. Here are a few simple ways to get started: Mindful Breathing: Find a quiet spot, close your eyes, and just focus on your breath. Feel the air going in and out. When your mind wanders (and it will!), gently bring it back to your breath. Body Scan: Lie down or sit comfortably and pay attention to different parts of your body, starting with your toes and moving up to your head. Just notice any sensations you feel, no judgment. Mindful Walking: Pay attention to how your feet feel hitting the ground when you walk. Notice the sights, sounds, and smells around you. Mindful Eating: Eat slowly and really savor each bite. Pay attention to the taste, texture, and smell of your food. Mindful Listening: When someone's talking, actually listen to them. Don't interrupt or start planning your reply while they're still talking. Mini Mindfulness Breaks: Take a few seconds throughout the day to just pause and notice what's going on around you and inside you. Observe your thoughts, feelings, and sensations without judging them. When using mindfulness, there are some tricks to help you get the most out of it. Start small; even 5 or 10 minutes a day is a good start, and you can always add more time later. Be patient; it takes time to get good at mindfulness. Don't get frustrated if your mind wanders – it's normal! Just gently bring it back. Make it a habit; try to practice mindfulness at the same time each day so it becomes part of your routine. Be kind to yourself; don't beat yourself up about your thoughts or feelings, just observe them and accept them. Try different things; experiment with different mindfulness practices until you find what you like best. Mindfulness isn't just for formal meditation. You can practice it anytime, anywhere. While you're doing dishes, commuting to work, or hanging out with friends, just be present in that moment. Mindfulness is a process, not a destination. It's all about learning, growing, and getting more connected to yourself and the world around you. So, relax, enjoy the ride, and see what mindfulness can do for you. By Jessica Whittington, LCSW, CCTP-II, ADHD-CCSP, C-DBT #MindfulnessPractices #LifeStorms #FindingYourCenter #StressManagemt ![]() Have you ever found yourself stuck in an exhausting cycle, feeling like no matter what you do,your situation doesn’t change or improve? If so, then you may have experienced learned helplessness, a condition that leaves people feeling powerless, hopeless, and stuck. What is Learned Helplessness? Learned helplessness is a psychological phenomenon that was first observed in a study with animals by psychologist Martin Seligman in the 1960s. In Seligman’s experiment, he exposed three different groups of animals to different conditions. The first group of animals were exposed to painful stimuli that they could stop by pressing a lever. In this first group, the animals quickly learned to press the lever to avoid the pain. However, in the second group of animals, they were exposed to the same painful stimuli with a lever, but the lever did not discontinue the pain. There was no way for these animals to prevent the pain and they eventually began to passively accept the circumstances. Even when presented with an opportunity to escape in the future, lowering the barrier to allow them to escape, they continued to stay and accept the pain. This is a display of learned helplessness. In humans, this often displays as repeatedly facing negative or adverse situations that seem inescapable or uncontrollable. Overtime, this can lead us to believe that this is our life and that we are incapable of changing our circumstances, thus causing feelings of hopelessness, low self- esteem, and even depression. The Effects of Learned Helplessness Reduced Motivation: People that are feeling stuck can often lose the motivation to make changes or pursue goals. They may give up easily and avoid trying new things, fearing that they will fail again. Increased Stress and Anxiety: Learned helplessness can often lead to chronic stress and anxiety. People may begin to worry about their inability to control outcomes, leading to feelings of dread and worry. Depression: Entrapment and defeat are key characteristics that can drive depression. When people feel powerless to change their circumstances, it can lead to hopelessness, sadness, and a sense of futility. Poor Self-Esteem: Persistent feelings of helplessness can break away at one’s self-esteem. People may internalize their struggles, believing they are incapable or unworthy of success. Avoidance Behavior: A lot of times, people with learned helplessness may begin to avoid situations where they could potentially experience defeat in order to avoid the discomfort of failure. This can lead to withdrawing from social activities, work, or personal growth opportunities. How Do You Overcome Learned Helplessness? 1. Reframe Your Thought Patterns: It is recommended that you practice identifying and challenging the negative beliefs that drive the feeling of helplessness. It is important to practice replacing them with more realistic and empowering thoughts. Instead of thinking “I always fail,” try to replace that with “I might not succeed this time, but I can learn from it and try again.” 2. Focus on Small Wins: Break down large goals into smaller, manageable steps to encourage a feeling of accomplishment and build self-confidence. Celebrate small victories, even if they seem minor, to reinforce the idea that effort leads to positive outcomes. 3. Build Self-Efficacy: Self-efficacy refers to one’s belief in their ability to successful achieve a particular goal. It emphasizes one’s confidence in the capacity to use skills to overcome challenges. With learned helplessness, work on developing your belief in your ability to influence events in your life. Practice seeking out opportunities for learning and taking action, even when it feels uncomfortable. 4. Develop Coping Skills: Having a toolkit of healthy coping mechanisms is high recommended for everyone in managing stress, but especially in individuals struggling with learned helplessness. Coping mechanisms including mindfulness, self-care practices, and stress management techniques. These skills can help you handle difficult situations more effectively and reduce feelings of helplessness. 5. Seek Professional Help: If you realize that learned helplessness is severely impacting your life, it could be helpful to work with a licensed therapist in being a resource for overcoming helplessness. Breaking Free: Reclaim Your Power Learned helplessness is not a life sentence—it’s a challenge that can be overcome with time and effort. By understanding how it develops, working on changing your thought patterns, building small wins, and seeking support, you can break free from the draining cycle of helplessness and reclaim your personal power. Remember, every step forward, no matter how small, is progress made and worth celebrating. You have the power to break free and live a life of growth, confidence, and resilience! By Brooklyn Davis, LCMHCA, LCAS #LearnedHelplessness #MentalHealth Awareness #SelfImprovement #Motivation #Resilience #SelfEfficacy #BreakTheCycle #Healing |
AuthorsDeborah Ashway Archives
March 2025
Categories
All
|